There’s nightmare fuel and then there’s… this.
Posted to the subreddit LegalAdvice of all places, this smelly tale follows Redditor u/Murky_Coyote_7737, who says they — apologies in advance — shit themselves in a sensory deprivation tank that they’d paid to use without realizing they’d contracted a norovirus.
“Initially I was having a lot of weird hallucination type sensations [which] I chalked up to the experience,” the user wrote, noting that they found out later that they later learned they had a 103-degree fever and had fallen asleep.
“I woke up to an awful odor and demanded to be let out of the tank,” the user continued, “and it turned out I had diarrhea’d in it.”
Hilarious turn of phrase aside, the situation sounds, as the user noted, “traumatizing.” But the real kicker, and the reason it was posted to a legal advice forum, came later.
“Now the facility is trying to charge me $8,000 to replace the tank as they do not feel they can safely disinfect this,” they wrote. “I don’t recall signing anything with some sort of ‘diarrhea clause’, am I actually liable here?”
If we’re to take this tale at face value — and given the user’s lengthy history of completely boring posts, it’d be a long con if not — being fined for what would undoubtedly be a horrific experience of sensory deprivation gone wrong truly would indeed be adding insult to injury.
Depending on the contract the user would have signed to engage in float spa therapy, there could actually have been a diarrhea clause given that pooping in the sensory deprivation tank is most certainly a thing that has happened before, as evidenced by a nearly 10-year-old viral blog post about a very similar situation (though in that scenario, the person was thankfully able to get out of the float spa before going number two).
What’s more: at least one governmental body (in Australia, which does technically count) has warned that people who had had diarrhea up to two weeks prior should avoid sensory deprivation therapy for obvious reasons. Avoiding sensory deprivation when ill is indeed good advice considering that in 2018, a biohacking startup CEO was found dead inside of one.
Hopefully, u/Murky_Coyote7737 won’t have to pay thousands of dollars for what was undoubtedly one of the most embarrassing moments of their life — and in the meantime, the rest of us may think twice before getting into a float tank.